Friday, 30 December 2011

Oh Crapmus Tree, Oh Crapmus Tree, How Crackers Are Your Branches

So, I'm staying with my parents in Sydney looking after the house of some apparent heathen who have NO Christmas decorations to speak of in any nook or cranny of their house. We decided not to buy a Christmas tree as there was nothing to hang on it but that didn't mean that was to be no physical representation of yuletide in the house at all. Oh no. I went Blue Peter on Christmas's ass and created this:

That's so freaking professional, I hear you gasp.

For the dangling Santa in a truck, I cut up Christmas cards and attached them with string to a cardboard tube extending from an armoire, held in place by a box of rocks:

And for the, um, the traditional angel centrepiece I used an African souvenir found in the downstairs bathroom and shoved decorative crackers on her arms.

But wait, what of those delightful snowflakes used to such flabbergasting 3D effect in the background and on the angel centrepiece's headpiece? What - those old things? Well, I cut them from the plastic bag which I used to carry the fags and CK One I bought in the airport, and sellotaped them to the wall. So, who says you can't do Christmas on the cheap? I don't know who actually does say that but for the purposes of wrapping this post up and not having to mention Christmas for another year, someone does. And verily in their faces. Also, of course I didn't buy CK One at the airport, damn your eyes if you thought I did. 

Gif link

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