Bit more of the Aussie round up - here's stuff to eat/ drink/ do:
Felix - fairly heavy French menu, best oysters in town. Waiters possibly pretending to be French but actually Aussie...
Mongers - freaking delicious and flavoursome fish, very relaxed post-beach feel at Bondi location
Bondi Hardware - pretty good tapas, good atmosphere, great in the evenings
Hugo's in Manly - fantastic, great spot, extremely fresh tasting food, perfect for lunch. Great cocktails. (But we did have a ridiculous waiter - there is a real phalanx of pretentious waiters in Sydney, I deal with it by snorting with laughter into my napkin.)
Miss Chu's - delish Vietnamese. The Bondi restaurant has great outdoor eating - squashed in but fun. Deeeeelicious smoothie cocktails. 'parently Miss Chu herself is a force to be reckoned with (a bit mental) and will sometimes come out and yell at everyone in Vietnamese.
The Anchor. Set up by guys who love beers, rock music and good food - this bar makes cracking margaritas (take note Beach Burrito) and food - we had a pavlova decorated with wild flowers which was as yum as it was pretty and served up by a chef with spectacular tatts (see photo above). Bloody noisy and fun.
Cruise in Circular Quay. Shocker, we went there by accident because the MCA and it's great adjoining restaurant had been bulldozed. This was the nearest alternative and I was getting hangry so we defaulted to Cruise. One of my oysters was bad, the bread was stale and my chicken tasted of fish. Nil points.
Sean's Panorama - meh. I went Sean's five years ago and it was fantastic, very relaxed atmosphere and mouthwatering food. It looks like they might have become a victim of their clientele - it's now a destination restaurant and as such has lost some charm. Stuffed zuchinni flowers had heavy batter and a clumsy filling, my quail salad main didn't really taste of anything. Disappointing. N.b Sean's is also guilty of silly waiters - there are no menus so ours recited the dishes to us but hadn't committed all of them to memory so it was like invigilating a painful exam - he had to keep running off and checking about jus reductions and I got the giggles. Really, I don't care how the cow died, just print me a frigging menu and get on with it.
Long Grain - zesty asian set in a warehouse-y location, I don't normally care for puddings, but I do here. Scrumptious. (top right photo)
Beach Burrito - RAGE. Took the best part of an hour to serve me a mediocre tasting burrito - AND I saw people who'd ordered after me being served before me - nothing makes me more furious when I've already been waiting for a while. It induces murderous hanger. Plus they serve piss weak margaritas. I will give them that they are always heaving in the evenings and it looks more fun then.
Sydney Fish Markets - AWESOME. Stuff your frickin' face with oysters, sashimi, New Zealand scampi (aka langoustine or Dublin Bay Prawns - deep water crustaceans which are unbelievably sweet and moreish), and humunga-prawns.
Suveran - for fantastic hippie crap. My friend Will, who is about 40% hippie 60% Tarzan, took me to this place a lot - they serve food so healthy it makes you feel bad (sugar, dairy, flour, gluten, wheat, yeast, grain, soy, egg, legume and tap water free - seriously, what's left?) and it's a hangout for personal trainers, suits pretending to be hippies, surfers and actual hippies. You can lose yourself in awe at the nonsense literature lying around expounding the merits of David Iyke and drinking your own urine. Pete, who runs it, can either be charming or a grumpy shit. The food, whatever it is actually made of beyond organic air, is yummy, and it is as far as you'll get from a personality vacuum chain restaurant. Worth checking out.
Hugo's in the Cross - sneaky Sunday. Mucho fun.
Penthouse at Ivy. Comedy wank.
Ivy nightclub - beastly.
The Beach House - fuckin awful not least because I thought we were going to someone's actual beach house and instead got to some shitspot where I was barraged with R'n'B - THE WORST.
Icebergs - wanky but good. Top spot for a cocktail looking out over the surfers and sun setting on the other end of Bondi. Beaut. Plus they throw an epic New Years Day party but I wouldn't know about that, WOULD I PETE? (Pete is my friend who failed to get us tickets for the NY Day party because he leaves everything to the last minute, DON'T YOU PETE? Nuff not very passive agression for now.)
The Shakey Pavement - top drinking spot in Surry Hills, AKA The Shakespeare pub. Hipsters and hobos ahoy. Good mix.
Sydney Festival - free, friendly fun.
Picnic - go raid the aforementioned Fish Markets, then head to Nielsen Park for sunset. It'll look like this (see left).
Beaches - shame on me, I stuck doggedly to Bondi this year (did Bronte last year but it's a bit drown-y), but it is a corker - head to North Bondi (the left hand side if you're facing the sea) (if you're really cool you'll head up to 'the grassy knoll' even further left), have a swim, do some perving (there's something for everyone), then head up to Aquabar or the Hobbit Cafe for poached eggs, turkish toast, crispy bacon and a fresh juice.
Operaaaaaaaaa - The Magic Flute was on at the Sydney Opera House and it was super bad. I tried out a new opera reviewing method where I furtively scrawled things down in a notepad during the performance as they came into my head. It was very dark and all I could make out in the interval was "Terrible panto wang." Which I stand by.
Fit in - stick 'o' on the end of any/everything and give everything a nickname. Being called Daisy my nickname is automatically Daiso. Also try out 'shit me to tears' and 'fuck oath'.
Get out - I went to Scone which is 4 hours north of Sydney and absolutely fucking stunning. Here is a picture of Will - my aforementioned friend - doing some EPIC posing by a freaking bucolic river:
Scatty posting. As mentioned, am in Nairobi for work which is unspeakably fucking excellent. Not much will be forthcoming till next week.
In the mean time, enjoy this somewhat porny remix of Close to Me by Leo Zero & Timo Garcia. Link
Lazy lazy lazy. Haven't posted in ages and have now left Oz and am having an incredible time in Nairobi for work. Been meaning to get on with my Oz round up - so here's the first and it regards fashion and all the shiz I spent all my goddamn money on (bank manager, in the hell freezingly unlikely event that you're reading this - it's all lies). My Sydney trip might have broken the bank but it's made me approximately 40% fancier, externally.
(L) Sass & Bide Pick 'n' Mix dress. It was in the sales. Could not resist. Plus the girls working in the Oxford Street shop are perfectly dreamy and make you think to yourself that you really ought to buy the entire contents of the shop. Magic stuff.
(R) White Suede Sorbet Cape. Also in the sales. An orange cape isn't tremendously practical - or so I was told by the girl in the shop but I've already worn it thrice which means it's paying for itself.
William Street has some of the best shops in Sydney by my reckoning. It's totally charming and I struggle not to come away laden. Last year it was from The Corner Shop, where I nabbed a goddamn incrediballs Ellery dress.
This year, I fell into Banjo & Matilda - who specialise in beautiful cashmere (I don't know who the Sydney-siders think they're kidding with needing cashmere - it's 13 degrees in winter there), they collaborate with artists and designers - most recently Tracey Emin. They do lovely labelling too:
(L) from Witchery - which is a bit like an Aussie Zara
(R) from Hype DC - which is extremely cheap and mostly hideous.
Apologies for shoddy photos.
And you'd be nuts to go to Oz and not check out Aussie designers Black Milk and We Are Handsome - both do magical things with lycra. I got the WAH peacock and horse swimmers - and they're both fucking cool. Although I tried the peacock one on in a darkened room and it turns out that it makes me look extremely pale.
That's it for clothes but food and drink is coming up.
Well these hipster nonsense knuckle duster bike grips are a damn stupid idea, you'd get your fat fingers stuck in them and then break all the bones in your arms and hands when you crashed into something.
However these Fuck-up-the-Christians-with-my-Roman-Thunderdome-Chariot lightening bolt wheel attachments are actually pretty cool.
This is an Australian advert. It's so bad it's making me want to put 'ocaust' on the end of it but at least 70% of all Aussie tv ads are this bad or worse. link
"All of the movies I don't want to see in a format that affirms my decision." The Editing Room has the alternate scripts for Hollywood shizen such as Transformers and Wall Street 2. Fuck that film was bad. Thanks Dom